November 18

Its .....


  Its really hard not to write you on and on spilling out my thoughts ... it may be one of the most difficult things I have ever done in my life.
So much to say, so much to exchange ... starting to compile aspects of my novel; this weekend I will pull out my drawings, fresh paper and pencils, black & colored, getting back to my illustration, well the best I can illustrate in abstract fashion ... must keep the words & thoughts to myself due many of you as my muse, how I make you feel so good taking me away from my 24/7 pain, fuzzy buzzy - my only true physical relief of thia ever-present condition is deep thoughts of you when I am alone, the sense of euphoria, hand control so fluid, no sense of cold, no cheap wool touch sensation, just deep incredible reversal of what is throughout my entire body ... I can handle WIFE's outbursts, was defensive before but know I have done no wrong so they are her issues, just as she belives she is fat yet weighs 120 on a high day, that she is ugly, old and gross - its all one's perspective out of the other's control.  Passion & compression wanting to be released through you ... Reader's Digest version of spilling out my thoughts because its really hard not to do so!

I know ...


I'm a helpless romantic, something I will never shake or I could become a curmudgeon & there are enough of them around, their herd should be thinned ... You are wrapped within my "fantasy" that would only be finer in Reality :).    Have a great weekend LINDA!
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Since....
 I met you and the paths we have walked & crossed not together at the same time but in different times and if at the same time in different places (your ship in the pacific, mine the atlantic) its all I have the true want and desire to do is make you feel incredible, feel good, nice but I know that is not possible - only in chat, not in person and where is the line drawn in word?  I no doubt have already crossed that line ... Good ish is so so, I know the feeling it rests with me too but many times throughout the day I pause and feel you, get a smile and my soul opens ... At special times when I am alone the world changes 180 degrees as if 7/14/08 never happened because of you ... For this I am thankful for you :)
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Re: I know ...
Wish you were here and my team of doctors would take care of you ... sad you are declining, you need proper care as what you are receiving is not working!!!
Wish you were here so ...

My prayers will be answered for you!!!

RE: Re: I know
Can't spiral LINDA ... Will do you absolutely no good --- understand non-base, been searching for this myself for 40 months but if you were supposed to be paralyzed then I should be dead ... We aren't and we as two people have so much to look forward to - please only spiral up! Love You - FRED
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

RE: Since

Sweet heart (hope you don't mind be calling you this) ... You have an affection for people in chairs ... Not bad thing but ... You don't need a chair YOU Are a WALking Quad like me --- don't allow your affection to become you, BE STRONG and overcome ... Please for YOUR SON as he needs you
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T