October 24

Inner circle


I want you to know you are in my inner circle ... I hope that you ask when you may be in need, someone truly betrays you/hurts you and I will do all in my power to provide whatever you may need.  I have chosen to take care of my family and closest friends of which consist of you and FRIEND now.  To give to those less fortunate comes second and they are taken care of as well in a variety of forms - so don't hesitate to ask or I'll be very disappointed :)
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The imagination ...


The imagination cloud of you in a nice warm bubble bath = very pleasing
 I would be near by to take care of your beckon call

Your priorities…


YOUR SON is #1 therefore cuddling is necessary ... plus you are his Mom :)   I always smile when I see my grandsons being cuddled byt their parents - brings me a huge smile.

If I had your experience with boards I would have "run away" long ago.  I had so much "lets stab good natured, low key, calm FRED in the back while shaking his hand" in my life that I trust so very few on this earth now and have pulled away from "friends."  I had best friends truly screw me over for their own apparent advantage as if they were entitled at my sacrifice.  Even when caught tell me that they were relying on me for their retirement - what the fuck!!!!!!!  I live life very close to the vest now.  I am most happy you found me through FB site - I am very happy having just you.  I have no need or desire to interact with another concerning my CCS, I jump in selectively.  I started that FB site/page thinking others would want to exchange and as you see there are like 8 people over three plus years.  I probably did not promote it well.

As a Christian and a Giver I understand your desire and perhaps need to share and there is nothing wrong with this at all - it is you.  Unfortunately being open, candid and honest leaves you exposed especially people on the Internet.  People pretend to be what they are not - I am who I am no matter where I am; yet expose myself to a very select few.  I can see how you would be devastated when someone you cared very much for was perhaps using you and others for some unknown unrealistic reason as a pretender - you were in essense stabbed in the back, blindsided by an asshole!   Hurts because you are human.

The message you deliver is a fine one and the herbal approach a nice angle because few even consider it.

Perhaps I have been shot down so many times about discussing "it" that I just keep it under the radar to all --- that's just me: right wrong or indifferent.
You on the other hand should continue with your boards and blogs - it is a fine way to send out your message and to share with a group of people very close to your heart :)  Just be careful of some of the pretenders on board and know they are always there.  I don't want anything to happen to you - will have to pull a Charles Bronson in Death Wish if anyone does!!!!
I know you have friends who can not walk and there are times when you fall into their world - perhaps even feel like you should be like them because you help the "low" and want to "feed" them but you do this by being their friend and I know not one of them wants you confined to a chair.  I understand the word "guilt" because I know you; I feel it everytime I see someone in a chair especially a young person who I would trade spots with because I have lived a good life and they have so much ahead in theirs, makes me cry inside ... you hurt for them - this is compassion or all good, sodon't let it bring you down.  Use Nellie when you need it but be strong for your friends and more importantly be strong for yourself - you do not deserve to be confined to a chair just as I do not deserved to be a quad.  Your mission on earth is not complete and you know it.

Just be LINDA :) and all will be well in the end

RE: Inner circle
You will always have me - always ...

BTW - I never get colds - I eat very healthy, am a vitamin freak and get my flu shot every year.
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RE: Inner circle

I've always wondered why nice women are attracted to the idiots but it seems to be the case and the good guys lose out ... have had this discussion numerous times with fellow 'nice" guys to no resolution.

You were helped in time of need and received some very good guidance now you are loyal to them ... but unfortunately you have had some bad experiences.  I have tended to use the internet to research my injury and symptoms plus I have incredible doctors a big benefit of having Northwestern in Chicago ... I am thankful every day for the paramedics who knew I had a spinal cord injury and took care of me and Dr ******** my ortho who took me into his inner circle.  When I get my settlement I will sit down with Dr ********* and ask how I can give back as well as charitable support to the Chicago Fire Department. They are the people who got me proper care fast and drilled my head into a halo ... that initial care saved me from being a quad, a true quad.

This is a new experience for all of us - we are not trained or taught how to react ... it is new ground.  Learn from mistakes and compromise to get what is best for you be a food chopper or Nellie (etc.) - you are strong and you be stronger as you continue your journey.  A journey that is well worth it :)

And you are welcome :)  I love having you as my friend, its a joy - it is one of the best things that has happened in my life.

I recall your car incident - mere accident, happens every day even to people with no CCS believe it or not - don't kick yourself, we are mortal - just learn from it and move forward.

Hang in there :)

Love, FRED